God Damnit Rondo!

May 1, 2009

If the Bulls win game 7 I might off myself.

I got on a plane (in Chicago, oh sweet irony) right before halftime last night.  I got off and as I casually strolled through the baggage claim, noticed crowds of people watching the 3rd overtime.  The what??  Yes, even the taxi dispatcher was totally ignoring a 50 person line and instead was watching the game on a Laguardia Baggage Claim Flatscreen.  I tuned in just in time to see Rajon with that monster tip in, followed by Chicago’s bricklaying at the line, followed by … well … I can’t really talk about this any more.  except RAYALLENHAD51FUCKINGPOINTSANDISTHEBESTCLUTCHSHOOTERINTHE PLAYOFFSANDDIDNTTOUCHTHEBALLFORTHELASTTWOMINUTES!

The dispatcher tried to console me as he got me a taxi.  It did not work.  Somehow Bill Simmons is keeping it together.

P.S. If you’re not watching this series, I feel sorry for you.  Simmons is exactly right, this is why we actually watch sports.  I can’t say a single original thing about it, it speaks for itself.  Game 7 is Friday at7:30.  You should watch it.


Chicago: Pathetic

April 24, 2009
Can we haz mulligan?

Can we haz mulligan? -Chicago

If you’re going to send death threats to a member of the Celtics, at least make it a guy who we value having on the floor.  Tony Allen being too scared to play would probably only make the Celts better.

That said, I still think Chicago will win game 4.

Teams That Lose More Than They Should

April 23, 2009

…Almost always have good reasons for it. I love the NBA and find its players and personalities entertaining, but I bet this is not as funny to Suns fans whose team just missed the playoffs as it is to me (nod to infrequent reader Ben for the link).

If, like the Suns and Wizards, you spend more time clowning around than focused on basketball, you are not going to perform to your potential. It also makes you shitty at defense. To be fair, the Suns (led by Shaq and purportedly directed by Nash) are much funnier than the Wiz (led by Nick Young and directed by a seven year old with downs syndrome), but that’s just commensurate with general talent level (on and off the court).

That’s why, when I saw Flip Saunders say he’d get the Wiz to play defense, and Gilbert Arenas (Gilbert Arenas!) say he thought the locker room needed to stop being “a goofball team,” I lol’d (and not just because more self-defeating words have never been spoken. If you’re calling yourself a “goofball,” you are a long way from no longer being a goofball). And when your coach hiring’s ESPN article is headlined “Saunders: I Can Work With Agent Zero,” you know you’re fucked.

Blake Griffin and the 57 Dwarves

April 22, 2009
DaJuan Summers: A worse locker room cancer than Larry

DaJuan Summers: A worse locker room cancer than Larry

So this year’s NBA draft is going to be a pool of talentless hacks. At least, that’s the word at ESPN as basically everyone has decided to return to school. Shocker! Do you think they watched enough guys come out too early and turn into walking midlevel exceptions/expiring contracts instead of making all star games? Well, obviously Jrue Holiday didn’t.

Anyway, my boy Greg Monroe is going to be coming back to G-Town, and DaJuan “my teammates loathe me” Summers has reneged on his earlier decision to stay in school, probably because he realizes this year’s pool is so weak, and he’s never going to put together a full college season anyway.

For those of you who care, which is probably many, UNC looks to lose Lawson, but Ed Davis will stay, and so will Al-Farouq-Aminu (tough name…) on Wake.

Henderson is on the fence. If he doesn’t go, he’s a dumbass, unless he really thinks the great whites (Duke’s awkward looking, acne ridden pair of incoming 6-10 power forwards) are going to push them over the edge to a championship.

Greivis Vasquez is in the draft too, which will revert Maryland back to utter unthreatening craptasticness next year.


April 22, 2009

We have no time at all, so here are a few links that can keep you entertained

The Lions changed their logo, and page 2 does a nice job for once tracking the potential of this trend.

Mutumbo is done, thanks to the total lack of control that Greg Oden demonstrates on a bball court:( It’s too bad that Joel Pryzbilla is definitely better than the #1 overall pick, and a guy they took ahead of Durant. Deadspin reminds us of Mutumbo’s greatest attribute/defining legacy (not talking about the finger wave)

And here’s a SFW link about that cheerleading coach whose squad rejects got her fired for posing nude in playboy. If you must, or are unemployed, NSFW links are contained within that article.

Update: Continued lulz courtesy of the Nats’ uniform people.  Dont you know that if you let it die, it dies?  The Lerner family is letting their franchise be dragged through the streets… What do they really have to lose by signing Barry?

Continuation + 1

April 19, 2009
Is this what it takes now to stop an And 1?

Is this what it takes now to stop an And 1?

So traveling is a gross epidemic in the NBA, we all know it with the crab dribble and feet shifting never being called (A full post will come on this later). However, I have a gripe about what the best players get after getting fouled. What’s that you ask? They get an extra jump. Just once, I would like to see a referee not give an And 1 play to a player because he landed before the shot went up after he jumped up and got fouled.

Its getting to the point where its gross: Kobe, LeBron and DWade I’m looking at you. Its really an unfair advantage because growing up and playing basketball your entire life, you learn how to jump and move your arms to defend a shooter while he’s in the air. All of the sudden in the NBA, even after you foul someone, you have to play defense when he lands back on the ground? Its impossible to defend and as a result, a major advantage for the offense.  This is what people don’t understand, you can’t defend it because you don’t think you have to, BECAUSE ITS NOT LEGAL!

We all know the NBA won’t do anything to jeopardize the success of its megastars, but I would love for the league to let the officials know that you CAN disallow the made shot if the guy lands on the ground before shooting because that’s, you know, traveling.

This deserves another post

April 15, 2009

So Greg Paulus is now a major headliner on ESPN.com and its not because Dickie V slurped him off. I updated the previous post this morning regarding his visit to Michigan, with subsequent commentary about how Duke isn’t recruiting someone that Michigan is. Well, David Cutcliffe must have read the post, because he offerred Paulus a tryout, at WR. The following quote is great from Cutcliffe about Paulus being a quarterback.

“We talked but there is no way he’d be able to compete to play for us at the quarterback position”

Amen brother! However, does Paulus have the ability to play wide receiver? Duke has a couple legitimate wide receivers coming back and I know he’s a basketball player for a big time program, but does he have the speed that is Cutcliffe’s number 1 priority for any player on his team? They do say that quarterbacks make good wide receivers. Well, I digress, so in closing, Greg Paulus is annoying and I can’t believe he’s not out of my life.

Additional Updates (and a rant) from Mike: So it looks like Paulus is going to Michigan. This is a great idea for him; he will give himself a chance to reneg on the whole “playing basketball” decision by getting a shot at a late-round NFL draft pick in 2010. Unfortunately (or fortunately if you live in Ohio, but then you know fucking nothing about sports anyway … seriously, the Browns, Bengals, Cavs, Ohio State [both sports] … I actually hate these teams and their management more than the Giants and Yanks put together. At least the Giants are [freshly minus Plax] noble and the Yanks are a critical and trendsetting institution with a history of greatness and fans that boo their own guys. Ohio’s fans are all homers and their teams are all insufferable. Has anything gayer ever happened than LeBron taking fake glamour shots of his teammates before games?) I mean my god, breaking out of the digression here, my fucking god, I am a lifelong Celtics fan and Wizards mocker (I didn’t start truly mocking them till the Gil contract …I reall hope they get it together but I mock them ceaselessly), and yet i cannot help but cheer for the Lakers to destroy the Cavs in 5 in the finals. Wait … where were we? Oh. Right. So this is kind of a bad idea for Rich Rod, because teaching Paulus is like teaching a new Frosh QB … and he already has two of those guys, so somebody’s getting the short straw. The only upside is that he can save the second guy and redshirt him, and let Paulus play backup this year to the primary guy. Paulus will run the spread well.